And I thought that 2010 was going to be a better year!

So far we’ve had another tragic celebrity death and now this – the engagement of my nightmares!

So we all know that Russell and Katy have been vacationing in India, Katy has been posting pics of the adventure all week.  By the way, I find it interesting when celebs take far away vacations to escape the “grind” but still have to post pictures on Twitter to stay in the news! Anyway – according to “sources close to the couple”, Russell officially popped the question to a fame hungry Katy and, of course, she said yes. So those reports of Russell ring shopping earlier this month turned out to be correct.

I love Russell and everything – but I have to admit, his relationship with Katy has made me lose interest and I am off to find a new shame-crush. *sniff* (At least my husband will be happy!)

So yeah – congrats to the happy couple!! BLEH

Tig

I was really hoping that the end of 2009 would mean the end of celebrity deaths – for a while at least. But it doesn’t seem to be the case.

Johnson&Johnson heiress and fiance of Tila Tequila, Casey Johnson was found dead in LA this morning.  The cause of death is so far unknown – but the police have stated they do not expect foul play.

Of course – Tila’s Twitter page is on fire!!  This is a very heartbreaking time for me. I just want some pricacy as I deal with the loss of my Fiance Casey Johnson. I’m heart is shredded

I’m still in shock! Once again thank U for the outpour of love and support. I just wish to have some privacy at this heartbreaking time

R.I.P my Angel. @caseyjonsonJnJu will forever be in my heart! I love u so so much and we will Marry when I see U in Heaven my Wifey

Does everything have to be so public? Am I the only one that wishes celebrities were still unattainable and mysterious?! It ruins it all for me when they prove over and over that they belong on Jerry Springer more than most of the hillbillies that actually made it on the show!!

RIP Casey – I hope you’re finally sailing in calmer waters!

Tig

I know, I know – it’s been a LONG break since my last posts – don’t hate me too much! It was a VERY busy holiday season and I took some MUCH needed time to regroup and reset. I hope that all of you had a safe and fantastic NYE! What a year 2009 was – how did we make it through?!

This year I have decided not to look back and instead look forward to all the possibilities! So I am posting my favorite celebrity New Years resolutions!!

Enjoy – and may all of YOUR wishes come true this year!

 Ashlee Simpson
“All my focus is on my son. Every day being a better mom and learning with him. It’s an incredible experience.”

Hailey Glassman
“To finally stand up for myself, not let myself be controlled and manipulated by Jon. I wish for him out of my life.”

Bill Murray
“To try to remember to look down on myself and realize how good I’ve got it.”

Justin Timberlake
“I’m going to underpromise myself for 2010 so if it goes well I’ll be like, ‘Oh my God! Such a surprise!’”

Tig

Seriously – those misshapen nipples are freaking me out!

Anyway – It looks like the Tiger bashing hasn’t quite fizzled out just yet. In a new article in Vanity Fair, we get a very uncensored view of the golf pro/man whore.

According to Buzz Bissinger, Tiger has always been a tool – he was just really good at hiding it for a while. A few clips from the article?! You’re going to love these -

“What I can’t figure out is why so many good-looking women hang around baseball and basketball. Is it because, you know, people always say that, like, black guys have big dicks?”

Love it right?! This one is even better! Bissinger tells Vanity Fair readers that Tiger had quite a way with the ladies, entertaining them with gems like -

He rubbed the tips of his shoes together and then asked the women, “What’s this?” Woods then replied. “It’s a black guy taking off his condom.”

BEAUTIFUL!

This article is a must read!

Tig

At least that’s what Fergie seems to think.

In a recent interview Fergie let it drop that her and stripper friendly hubby, Josh Duhamel, are trying to conceive. Because we all know that when your marriage is in trouble all you have to do is add a baby to the mix and everything gets better!

Umm, right.

But hey – maybe this couple will make it work. I have a feeling that Fergies insecurities will keep her firmly latched to Josh’s side no matter what. Even after text messages and eye witnesses confirmed his cheating, she stood by her man because – well, she already knows nobody else wants her! If your man cheats with a crab infested pole tramp, your stock drops. It’s simple sexual economics.

Poor thing – kinda.

Good luck Fergie – really.

Tig

Seriously! How odd is this?! What do you think they talk about?

I’m not even kidding – I would pay to watch them interact!

And – by the way, who hasn’t Jessica Simpson dated at this point?! I know – get to the story already – alright fine!

Apparently, after being spotted in New York together last week, the rumors have started to fly that Billy and Jessica are bumpin uglies. A “source” has claimed that Jessica is crazy about the former Smashing Pumpkins rocker, and he is telling friends they are a couple.

Yeah – weird right?! I’m sure they bumped into each other at some music has-beens get together, but how did they hook up?! Was she sifting through pork rinds near the bar when the scent of bbq’d meat drew him to her?!

I can’t wrap my brain around it.

Tig

I don’t know what’s going on out on the roads lately, but I have another celebrity car accident to tell you about!

First Tiger, then Tom and now Rivers Cuomo. The Weezer front man was on his way to a gig when the bus lost traction after finding unexpected icy roads. River and another passenger were taken to the hospital with non life threatening injuries.

His wife and daughter were luckily unharmed in the accident.

Here’s to a fast recovery! And hey – let’s all take it easy on the roads out there as it gets colder!!

Tig

Of course, I haven’t ever been one to feel that way – but we all know that some men out there do!

This could just be a cultural misunderstanding – We all know they do things a little different in Indiana. But I’m going to go ahead and shake my head at Donald Crawford anyway. It seems that he was SO compelled to take in some PBR and pole dancing that he decided to leave his 5-year-old son in the car while he did it.

How exactly do you think this went down? Did he leave the house planning on a trip to the titty bar? Or was he driving to the store to pick up a new Tonka truck for his boy when they passed a strip club and he was unable to resist the pull of steak and crabs?!

Anyway – after about 45 minutes of booze and boobs, Donald stepped outside and panicked when he couldn’t find his truck or his son. So, he did what any reasonable person would do – he called the police to report a stolen truck and missing child.

Behold the best 911 call transcripts EVER-

Dispatcher:  Were you in a business or something?

Crawford: No, I was at whatever this little strip club is.

Dispatcher: You left him in the truck to wait for you?

Crawford: He was sleeping.

Now for the best part – the truck wasn’t stolen, ol’ Donny was just too drunk to find it. The cops discovered his son in the unlocked truck watching cartoons with the keys in the ignition.

Like I said, maybe this is just a simple cultural misunderstanding. Maybe this is how they bond in that part of the country.

I’m still shaking my head!

Tig

These two are either dating – or they just REALLY like to eat together!

Tay-Tay was once again spotting dinning out in LA. It amazes me that they find time to get together at all. These are two of the hardest working teens in Hollywood. With Taylor Lautner making the rounds promoting New Moon and Taylor Swift rounding up every available music award – it would be an understatement to say they have busy schedules.

We just adore Taylor and Taylor individually – with Lautner and his humble nature and Swift with her sweet demeanor – it’s a match made in sweet, gooey, cavity-filled heaven!

I hope they are dating – I think they are too damn cute!

I’m still waiting for the official statement or public snuggle!!

Tig

After years of searching for the perfect pucker and coming up with a pathetic trout pout every time, Meg Ryan is saying good-bye to lip plumping!

And it’s only about 5 years too late! I mean, lets face it – the poor girl hasn’t just destroyed her lips. She can easily compete with the botox greats like Nicole Kidman, Teri Hatcher and Katie Price – but for some reason we can’t except her like we do them.

Of course, she should take that as a compliment – it’s because we hold her to a higher standard. We love her and expected her to rise above the Hollywood idea of perfection. We wanted her to stay sweet and soft and cute forever.

But now we know the truth – she is just like every other woman in the biz – susceptible to criticism and opinion.

And here I am talking my own line of shit – aren’t we awful?!

Meg – you’re perfect – don’t mess with perfection! I’m so glad your kissing the syringe good-bye!

Tig