We are pretty used to drama in Hollywood – most famous families have their fair share of turmoil, but the Hasselhoffs are quickly becoming Hollywood’s most effed up family EVER!

Within less than 48 hours BOTH David and his ex wife Pamela made headlines with their latest drunken antics.

David found himself in the hospital and under psychiatric surveillance after a collapse over the weekend, while Pamela decided to take a drunk spin around the city before being pulled over and arrested for drunk driving.

This entire family needs detox!

David Hasselhoff is denying that he is in ailing health or back on the sauce. He also claims that he was never under any type of surveillance.

Pamela, however, has already apologized and blames the stressful divorce for her bad choices.

Seriously – we just need to drop this family off on an island in the pacific so they can drink and fight and make-up and drink.

Keeping up with the Hoff’s dramas has exhausted me!

Tig

Why does it not surprise me that Anthony Michael Hall fights like a bitch? He always came across as a spoiled brat. I mean, we are talking about the guy that lived in a hotel for over a year (back when people still cared about who he was).

So when I ran across this story it didn’t exactly shock me.

It sounds like last month Anthony and his woman, radio host Diana Falzone, got into a fight when he decided to call on his inner teenage girl when he allegedly pushed, shoved and spit on Diana. At some point during the fight he even bit her on the forehead!

I would NEVER laugh at physical abuse – but umm.. you have to admit, this is kinda funny!

After being removed by the police, Hall returned the next night, highly intoxicated and was again taken by the police. He now has a restraining order against him that prohibits any contact between the couple.

Tig

That’s right ladies!! Aren’t you excited?!

Yeah – I didn’t think so.

Creepy ass Corey Feldman just received divorce papers from his wife of 7 years, Susie Feldman. She is sighting irreconcilable differences and is after sole custody of their 5-year-old. Of course there is a request for spousal support too.

I can’t say I blame the girl – he’s turned into a total weirdo! He used to be part of the young Hollywood elite. He used to hang out with Brooke Sheilds and Michael Jackson and he even dated Drew Barrymore, (ok, that’s all pretty weird) but all that has changed.

Did you watch that show?! That The 2 Coreys bullshit?! That squeaky voice and all those bizarre ideas of his and having to deal with crazy-as-hell Corey Haim all the time?! No thanks!! I mean, I used to have a HUGE thing for Corey Haim when I was a kid – but now, not so much! He’s a chubby, insecure, weirdo! No thanks to that whole mess!

Take the kid and run girl!!!!

Tig

And Sarah would be SO upset! How is he going to save the world from an army of pissed off prototypes if he can’t even kick the white shit?!

Actually, Edward Furlong’s soon to be ex wife, Rachael Kneeland, had a restraining order issued against Ed for being unpredictable, violent and a bit of a druggy.

In the documents aquired by TMZ , Rachael claims that Ed - ”grabbed me, bruised me, pushed me, made threats of more violence, left messages saying he would hire people to come and beat me with chains and bats.” Rachael also claims that – ” Ed is smoking cocaine and doing other various drugs. He is very unpredictable.”

Whoa buddy! I guess being raised by a crazy woman and a robot had a negative effect on the guy.

Tig

It’s official- Fred Durst and his wife of like 15- minutes  have called it quits. Big surprise right?

Fred took to Twitter to thank his one lingering fan for support -

“For those of you inquiring I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our separate ways and we both thank you for your support. Thank you all SO much for your concern and extremely kind words. Sincerely. We remain very positive and wish only the best for each other.”

So that’s totally sad and everything – but umm - since when is Fred older than Phil Collins?! I think that’s the more serious issue here. He’s only 39, but the poor bastard looks about 60 right? He has that same disease that Robin Williams had in Jack, that super fast aging shit.

If I was Esther I would have bounced outta there too.

Creepy – just sayin.

Tig

So much so that when he caught wind of that familiar Blake Stank (an odd mix of odor eaters, meth breath and vodka) wafting through town he hauled his old, over-protective balls down to her suite to regulate.

And it sounds like he was just in time to catch the two “reuniting” under the covers **Ummmm awkward** Well, Pops wasn’t havin it and gave Blake the old Ho Heave.  I picture Amy crying from behind her father “But I loooove him.. and umm he has coke in his pocket!! At least grab the coke Daddy!”

This is the kind of dad that all of us girls dream of. One that will scoop us up and save us from trashy men that ruin our lives (and makes us write a Cd’s worth of man hate/self loathing do-wop) Seriously! I wish I heard this more often, like when Miley Cyrus starts spinning around stripper poles perhaps.. just sayin..

It sounds like Tila Tequila and her man Shawne Merriman have had quite the Labor Day weekend!!

Apparently Tila called the police after her mister decided to choke her out a little bit. Shawne was arrested and charged with  battery and false imprisonment.

Today the San Deigo Charger released a statement claiming that Tila was just wasted and he didn’t want her to hurt herself by leaving. So he laid the smacketh down, because everyone knows that bruises don’t picture well so they’re the best way to keep an attention whore in the house.

Makes perfect sense to me! Here is Shawne’s official statment -

“On September 6, 2009 the San Diego Sheriff’s Department responded to a citizen’s complaint that was initiated by Tila Nguyen (aka Tila Tequila). I was taken into custody based upon that complaint. At the time, I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided.
“We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their personal safety. I in no way caused any harm to Ms. Nguyen, however, paramedics were called and she was examined but no injuries were reported. She was released and has since returned to Los Angeles, California.”

Of course Tila took to Twitter with her rebuttal claiming there is no way he can blame the incident on her drunkeness -

“I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila “Tequila” cuz the irony. I cant drink”

Ohhh the drama! Great way to come back from being sick all weekend!! hahaha

Tig

CLASSY!

This really is no big surprise – we all know she has been doin the lips to peepee with Eddie Cibrian for a while now. So this isn’t exactly news, but I just love how she worded it to her fans…

“After much thoughtful mutual consideration, Deane and I have agreed to move forward with dissolving our marriage,” the country star says on her Web site using the spelling of her husband’s given name. “This decision was amicable and we remain committed and caring friends with great admiration for one another. Thank you so much for all of your continued love and support – it is deeply appreciated”

They remain commited friends?!?! How do you REMAIN something you never were!??! And the whole bit about great admiration?! Yeah, call it how it is hunny, she should have just said “I’m going to pay him enough money to NOT write a book about my tramp ass.”

Whatever – I feel bad for BOTH Dean (LeAnn’s soon-to-be Ex) and Brandi (Eddie’s soon-to-be Ex) perhaps they should get together over a box of wine and share a good cry and figure out how to spend the ali/palimony cash!

By the way – LeAnn’s never ending man face kinda makes me shudder.. just sayin, dude..

Tig

So in other eye rolling news, Noel Gallagher quit that bitch band Oasis because he couldn’t handle his bitch brother Liam and his bitch fuckin ego any longer. Big fuckin bitch surprise. Honestly, I am surprised this didn’t happen years ago. Both these douche nozzle’s are so far up there own asses shit should be coming out of there noses. I think Liam’s home is probably an entire shrine to himself. In the loo, I bet he has pictures of himself hung up all over. Ones of him taking a shit, him brushing his fugly teeth, and of him washing his lil peen in the shower. In the living room he probably has pictures of himself watching tv or taking an ego fueled nap on the couch. In the kitchen there are pics of him shoving fish and chips in his big conceited mouth and so forth. You get the idea. Noels home is probably quite similar.Golden statues of himself greet you in every hallway, his music plays repeatedly over the sound system in every room.If guests don’t kiss his feet upon arrival, they get a guitar over the head. Anyways, Noel released a statement saying that with some sadness and relief, he was quitting Oasis because he couldn’t bear to work with his brother Liam anymore. Maybe Noel should join forces with Kanye West and call themselves “BEST FUCKING BAND TO EVER EXIST.” Naaw wouldn’t work, would just be another slathered up I’m better-than-you war. Oasis sucks anyways.
-Bitty

Not that I can even pretend to be surprised (or interested for that matter), but it’s starting to sound like the lack of “happy couple in love” photos featuring Averil Lavigne and Deryck Whibley are due to the little misses and her love of liquor and bottom feeding penis owners.

It seems that this last weekend she was spotted in South Hampton ”hanging” with “fans” (or as my girlfriends call it – whoring for cocktails).

I’m taking bets on how long it takes for the divorce papers to be filed – I’m thinking it will take a revenge stripper escapade on Whimbly’s next weekend with the boys.. and I’m sure it will be somewhere that the paps tip well for close ups….

But who can really be suprised.. have you ever seen a picture of them together and HAPPY? Umm – not so much.

Tig