Posts Tagged ‘DUH’

Nicole And Joel – Still Livin’ In Sin!

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

nicole&joel

I just love that saying! Don’t mind me….

Yesterday, as Nicole Richie appeared in court to petition for a restraining order against her stalker, she was giving testimony when her lawyer referred to Joel Madden as “your husband.” 

Nicole raised a few eyebrows since he was allowed to continue without being corrected by her. This, of course, led to the 73rd round of  ”Nicole and Joel are married” posts.

But, BIG SURPRISE, it’s simply not so!

Richie has once again denied the rumors. And, as a result of the couples non-nuptialated state, the restraining order only covers Nicole and the kids and leaves poor Joel to fend for himself!

So, there you have it kids – the are STILL not married. You can move along now- nothing to see here.. still.

Tig

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Michael Lohan To Testify Against Bad Dad BFF Jon Gosselin

Monday, November 9th, 2009

BadDads

TLC needs the help of Super Dad of the Century, Michael Lohan, to help nail Bestest Baby Daddy, Jon Gosselin’s chopped balls to the wall.

TLC is going after Jon for his questionable dealings while he was still under contract with them. Michael and Jon were in talks to possibly star in a show of their own called “Divorced Dads Club.” Here is what Michael had to say-

“I was working on a deal with him for a Nutrisystem endorsement and a book deal. He got paid a lot of money for different promotions, clubs, magazines, and by a TV network – At times he said what we were doing was OK; at times he said it was a problem.”

He also claims that Jon was pain in cash for multiple personal appearances that were not OK’ by TLC.

So not only is Jon a crappy dad – but he’s a shitty friend too! I wouldn’t trust this guy with a fake two-dollar bill!

Tig

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Sandra Bullock Fighting To Keep Her Step Daughter From Jailbird-Porn Star Mother

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

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Sandra Bullock and hubby Jesse James are fighting to keep sole custody of Jesse’s daughter Sunny. After spending time in prison for tax evasion, Janine Lindemulder is ready to be a mommy again, but Sandra and Jesse vehemently disagree.

Sandra is claiming that 5-year-old Sunny was often left alone during the day while her mother slept off drug binges among other things. She also claims that she has taken a break from working as much as should could to help raise the little girl. In a statement to the judge the actress had this to say-

“I am aware that Janine has claimed many times that my desire to have [the girl], was because I could not have children of my own – that couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

“I myself have stopped working like I used to in order to be here with Jesse and the kids because we are on constant high alert – never knowing what condition Janine will be in, and even more concerning, the condition [the girl] will be in.”

Of course, Janine is very upset at these allegations and would like to “sit down and talk” with Sandra so they can work these things out.

Umm, that just proves that she is out of her dome! Why would this woman want to talk to you? You haven’t been any kind of mother – She has been the one raising the girl while you have been in and out of jail, on drugs and having sex on film for money. Why do you even want your daughter?! Let her go be healthy and safe!

I say take the girl and run Jesse and Sandra!

Tig

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It’s Official, Jon Gosselin Is A Cry Baby

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Hayley Glassman, Jon Gosselin

Not that we didn’t already kinda know this, but now it’s officially confirmed.

During an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman decided to discuss their relationship. However, it quickly became apparent that the couple is anything but solid right now.

At one point they even began arguing openly when Hailey stated that she didn’t want to discuss their problems on national television (right, since their relationship has been so private this far) and Jon replied with “now it’s public.”

This is how the rest of the interview played out-

Jon starts – “This whole thing’s uncomfortable – I don’t like it. I mean, you’re telling me out there that you love me and you want to be with me, and then you…”

Hailey cuts in with – “I do love you, and you tell me you love me we would love each other and we want to be with each other, but it’s not healthy!”

To which Jon replies – “I’m not talking anymore,” (which is the exact same thing my 10 year old says when she is mad)

Things really went to shit when Hailey thought it would be a good idea to bring up the kids by asking if Jon wanted to “be a more honest person” for them –

Jon responded by taking off his mic and stomping off set.

I don’t blame the guy – I mean, it must really suck to be sold out by your partner in grime!

Tig

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Jeremy Piven Blames His “Man Boobs” On Soy Milk

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

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And I just thought it was because he’s actaully a chick – I mean, he’s been known to diva out from time to time.

According to Jeremy, it’s the estrogen in Soy Milk that has caused him to, well – develop. During a recent interview with Empire Magazine he said - 

“I was the guy who dabbled in soy milk, but now we’ve found soy milk estrogen for me to grow breasts, I had to put the soy milk down,” Jeremy said in the interview. “It was a very confusing time.”

Hahaha, he “dabbled” in soy milk. That cracks me up – most celebrities talk about dabbling in cocaine or heroin, but not Jeremy Piven, he’s the epitome of hard core – he dabbles in dairy alternatives.

Jeremy’s rep has since released a comment to reassure all the soy lovers out there, telling us all that Jeremy was obviously joking and please don’t sue him!

Tig

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Even The Tweens Think Miley Is A Sh*tty Role Model!

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

MileyCyrus

It’s about time these kids came to their senses!!

In a poll aimed at 9 to 15-year-olds, given by JSYK.com , Miley came out on top as the Worst Celebrity Influence of 2009!! 42% of those that participated decided that Miley’s pole dancing, 20-year-old boyfriend and Twitter pics were over the line.

Aren’t you upset that she deleted her Twitter right now?! She would SO be letting us know just how much she doesn’t care by venting via Tweet (No doubt accompanied by another belly/panty picture like the one above!)

Miley even beat out Kanye West! And I gotta say – it makes sense. Kanye might have made an ass of himself at the VMA’s and thrown a few other tantrum’s this year, but we EXPECT that from him. Based on the results of the pole, we prefer our 16-year-olds to be a bit more reserved than Miley can manage.

When you’re 16 and selling records to 11-year-olds, we don’t really want to see your panties all over the internet. If half naked pictures of any other girl Miley’s age started floating around the internet she would be suing those responsible. But not Miley – Miley posts them herself!

On a totally related side note – you know how when you go to Google and start typing things in it gives you a drop down menu of suggestions based on the most common searches?! Well, when you start typing in Miley Cyrus, the first thing that comes up is “Miley Cyrus Nip Slip.” I only bring this up because that doesn’t happen when you type in other celebriteens, like Selena Gomez or Taylor Swift. That’s because Taylor and Selena don’t wear trampy clothes their “nips” can slip out of!!

I’m SO ready for this family to back gracefully out of the spotlight. We’ve been abused by those teeth enough already!

Tig

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Hailey Glassman Needs To Catch A Clue

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

Hayley Glassman, Jon Gosselin

Hahahahahahaha –

Sorry, but I find this terribly amusing for some reason.
Hailey Glassman, (you know, the 22-year-old that Jon Gosselin left his wife and 8 children for) – is already crying to the tabloids about how crappy life with Jon can be. I guess that dreamboat of a man is more of a sweaty nightmare.

Hailey tells The Insider – “We’re at a point now where I don’t know why I love him, He’ll call me and take his anger out on me. He has ‘mantrums.’ I shouldn’t have to put up with being emotionally abused. I cry and say, ‘Why are you so mean to me?’ He takes it out on me.”

Didn’t she watch the show?! I’ll give you a little advice, ok?!

Jon doesn’t work well without a mommy figure around to keep him in line. All you need to do is explain that he can’t do anything right while rolling your eyes and talking shit about his hair plugs as you walk away. He will crumble into a quivering heap at your feet and you will be free of the crybaby crap!

Hailey also said that she is ready for her name to be forgotten so she can go live a happy normal life.

Seriously though – you aren’t supposed to be happy Hailey – you were fucking a married man with a house FULL of babies. And you did it in front of the American public.. Good luck babe.

Tig

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Does This Look Like A Meth Face To You?!

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

andreagassi

I know, I know – he’s playing tennis in this picture. But still, those eyes!!

I’m not making it up people!! Andre spent some time suckin the glass.. well, you know.

In his new book “Open”, Andre admits to a love affair with the nasty shit during the late 90’s. Even blaming an assistant for his failed drug test at one point.  An excerpt from the book reads -”

I say that recently I drank accidentally from one of [assistant] Slim’s spiked sodas, unwittingly ingesting his drugs – I feel ashamed, of course. I promise myself that this lie is the end of it.”

I always wondered what happened to the guy – he was super great, wanted by women and dripping in endorsements – then, POOF, just gone! It wasn’t until after he dropped the drugs that he was able to return to the sport successfully. At this point, nobody cares!! What celebrity hasn’t come out with an addiction story?! It’s almost a prerequisite for fame.

Now for the REAL shocker from the book!!

 You know that hair?! That uber sexy, Kentucky waterfall that made all the ladies panties wet?! You remember – admit it. You never gave two shits about tennis, then all of a sudden, here comes this mullet rockin hottie that can slam the ball and you’re missing lunch dates on Sunday with Grandma to watch the US Open.. It’s ok – you weren’t alone.

But hold on to your hats ladies – cuz the hair was a FAKE! That’s right, he was rockin a damn wig!

 I’ll wait while you compose yourself.

 Too damn funny!

Tig  

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Corey Feldman Is Soon-To-Be-Single!!

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Corey-and-Susie-Feldman

That’s right ladies!! Aren’t you excited?!

Yeah – I didn’t think so.

Creepy ass Corey Feldman just received divorce papers from his wife of 7 years, Susie Feldman. She is sighting irreconcilable differences and is after sole custody of their 5-year-old. Of course there is a request for spousal support too.

I can’t say I blame the girl – he’s turned into a total weirdo! He used to be part of the young Hollywood elite. He used to hang out with Brooke Sheilds and Michael Jackson and he even dated Drew Barrymore, (ok, that’s all pretty weird) but all that has changed.

Did you watch that show?! That The 2 Coreys bullshit?! That squeaky voice and all those bizarre ideas of his and having to deal with crazy-as-hell Corey Haim all the time?! No thanks!! I mean, I used to have a HUGE thing for Corey Haim when I was a kid – but now, not so much! He’s a chubby, insecure, weirdo! No thanks to that whole mess!

Take the kid and run girl!!!!

Tig

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Kate Sees A Movie Career In Her Future

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

kategosselinbig mouth

During TLC’s special You Ask/Kate Answers, Kate let us into her world by answering all of the burning questions we were dying to ask.

Personally I think they screened the questions – because nobody asked her when the fuck she would be going away. Just a hunch.

Anyway- she did tell us that she is looking forward to a career in TV and movies, saying:

“Somewhere in here I’ve discovered that I’ve done enough years of TV that I feel like it’s a normal, natural, comfortable place to be. I’d love to be in a movie at some point,” she said. “I would love to be the voice of a cartoon character in a movie for my kids. I think that would be fun.”

Oh goodie! I’m so looking forward to hearing her ragged voice even MORE! *sigh*

What kind of part would she play?! The over bearing wife? The control freak mother? The sad lonely and desperate 30 something single mom?!

Umm – we’ve seen it already!! Her range has been exhausted! Please stop encouraging this woman!!!

She also let us know that “Aloneness is so alone,” and that she doesn’t see herself marrying again until she is 73. Wow, she was full of surprises huh?! File this under DUH!!

It’s too early in the morning for this crap!

Tig

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