The image above gives me nightmares – it fills my head with images of fat ankles sticking out under stall doors and the “kshhhhhhhh” sound made by cans of foul smelling doo-doo spray as it spills out that “Fresh Forest” scent. I have NEVER met a public bathroom that I enjoyed – but the ones at work seem to always make the list of “Top Ten Places I Want To Wash From My Memory”

What is it about public bathrooms that bring out the “sharing” side of people?? Where is the sign in the shitter that says “Please – feel free to stink it up!?”

Why does a 2 stall bathroom slammed into a room the size of a closet inspire women to grab a friend and team shit?! Seriously – does this happen to anyone else? Have you ever noticed that at work? Every time I need to pee – I take a deep breath and make the long walk downstairs. Hoping that just this once I have missed the shitting session for the morning, that maybe I won’t have to endure that terrible “Shit Forest” smell created by the spray can and mammoth ass combo that I am SO not fond of.

And it’s not just the smell that haunts me – it’s the SOUNDS that come with it! There is one woman at work that actually makes PHONE CALLS to her family while she”drops the kids off at the pool.” Grunting DURING the conversation!!! “Hey Honey – GRUNNNNNNNT plop – I just wanted to remind you that – GRUNNNNNNNNNNT plopplop – that I will be home late tonight cuz – GRUNNNT GRUNNNNNNNT plop- I have to drop Little Sally off at soccer – plop SIGH- after work.”

Umm EWWWW a whole LOT OF EWWWWWWWW!! How long do you have to be married to a man before you decide that making him listen to you shit at work is ok?!?!

Alright – I just had to get that off my chest – I appreciate you listening to it – now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go brave the bathroom.. *SIGH*

Tig