I wonder if Lindsay Lohan bathes in “Eau de Shit Follows Me Wherever I Go” on a daily basis? Or is her constant bad luck the work of some serious karma? Hmm, I don’t think so friends. I think it has a lot to do with that delicious nose candy! It might also have something to do with the fact that Miss Lohan is not making much money these days. You know her profession now days is making professional appearances at seedy motels and truck stops. Ok, so that may be a LITTLE bit of an exaggeration, but I like it, so let’s all say a prayer that Jubitz does in fact decide to hire Lohan for truck stop grand openings. Oooh! How about a Jubitz with a $39 dollar a night motel attached?! Yess! Oh I would definitely go to this opening gala. I would go two hours early, buy a corndog from the hot case and browse thru the cheesy lighters and trucker hats while I enjoyed my decadent .89 meal. I wouldn’t get a room though. Because we all know Lindsay would make her appearance, get drunk with some truckers and random people stopping for gas on the Steel Reserve she requested for her appearance, then crash your motel room to “party.” See, I wouldn’t be willing to do that, because my valuables would be in that room. So what if the most expensive thing I own is some three year old pumas that cost me $90? I am not taking that chance! Skeezball would jack my old shoes! It would be “Oh Bitty, I lost my heels in some semi-truck, can I slip your shoes on to get some ice?” and BAM, no more 3 year old pumas. Sigh. Well, unfortunately, XIV Karats (a jewelry company) was stupid enough to loan Lohan some jewels worth around $2 million bucks. She has had them for over 2 months and the company is wanting them back, obviously. Now Lohan claims she doesn’t have them…plus she was robbed recently, so who knows where they really are? Maybe her being robbed was all a hi-jinks in order to get a quick 2 mil? I dunno, but the jeweler is not stoked. DUH! What the hell!? What did you expect, loaning expensive baubles to the desperate pile that is LINDSAY LOHAN!? Remember a while back when she stole a friends fur coat and she sheepishly returned it, reeking of cigarettes and booze? Remember way back when another company loaned her jewelry and she sobbed to the paparazzi that they had been stolen at the airport or some shit? Please people. I do not feel bad for XIV Karats. You must of knew what you were getting into! Lindsay Loanhan. That’s what I am calling her now. XIV, good luck! HAHA!