And I thought that 2010 was going to be a better year!

So far we’ve had another tragic celebrity death and now this – the engagement of my nightmares!

So we all know that Russell and Katy have been vacationing in India, Katy has been posting pics of the adventure all week.  By the way, I find it interesting when celebs take far away vacations to escape the “grind” but still have to post pictures on Twitter to stay in the news! Anyway – according to “sources close to the couple”, Russell officially popped the question to a fame hungry Katy and, of course, she said yes. So those reports of Russell ring shopping earlier this month turned out to be correct.

I love Russell and everything – but I have to admit, his relationship with Katy has made me lose interest and I am off to find a new shame-crush. *sniff* (At least my husband will be happy!)

So yeah – congrats to the happy couple!! BLEH

Tig

I can handle the pictures of them holding hands and walking around London. I can even handle the pictures of her leaving his damn apartment in the morning. But THIS?! Ohhh the sweet look on her face and, why does he have to look at her that way?!

What a shitty thing to wake up to.

It looks like this should-be fake relationship is gaining momentum. The couple has been seen gallivanting about town hand in hand, giggling and flirting with each other, on a more regular basis. And I HATE it!

I was willing to overlook the post VMA hook-up, I mean – I expect those kind of things from Mr. Brand. But this “getting serious” crap has got to end! I’m not saying that Russell can’t have a woman – I just prefer it when he has a LOT of them! It was funny when I thought he was going to hit and quit it – that’s the kind of girl Katy Perry is.. She isn’t “relationship” material, and he isn’t supposed have “relationships”.. just relations!

This type of behavior is above you Russell, I need to to be a pig, damn it.. 

*sigh*

Tig

Damn you Katy Perry! Right now, because of you and your fame whoring slutface ways, my dear friend Tig is over at her desk, softly weeping. Katy was caught “snogging” her new boyfriend and Tigs main celeb crush Russell Brand at LAX airport.

Here’s the deal kids. Katy Perry is that chick that wants constant male attention. She gains fame and notoriety by coming out with a song about how she likes kissing chicks, because we all know men love that trait in a gal! You know, when that bullshit song came out, every dude I know, metal-heads, jocks, stoners, hippies, blue collar types, all of them, including my husband LOVED that song. GEE, I wonder why!? It couldn’t have been for its amazing musical composition or badass beat could it have? OH NO. We know why. Katy is a slut.

So Russell Brand declares his want for Katy at the VMA’s just like every other male and what does she do? She jumps right on the train. Russell Brand is known for garnering attention, and hey what a great way to get more attention Katy!? She is fucking him only because he showed interest on national TV. She is a fame fucker. She is nauseating. Tig, I stress to you again, this is not built to last my love! Eventually he will tire of her and move on.  When he does dump her for something much hotter, she will make out with another girl for more attention from men and find another guy to drool over her for a bit. A pitiful bitch. How sad to be so insecure!

-Bitty

Well aint this some shit. According to Ace Showbiz, Russell Brand and Katy Perry went public this weekend at a party hosted by fashion house Fendi in Paris. Apparently the man-slut was very gentleman-like with the whore, escorting her through the party and shielding her from the paparazzi, as we can see from the picture above.  Please, Katy Perry is a whore in every way! For Dick, For Vadge, For Fame, For Attention, For Cameras, for everything! Look at her face, she looks half ass annoyed he is blocking a few camera lenses. I wish the picture was bigger…is that skank wearing a garter?? WTF.

I guess the whole thing started from a love poem Russell wrote Katy after proclaiming his crush on her publicly, on stage at the VMA’s. He was thrilled they were staying at the same hotel. I bet the poem went like this…

“Katy my dear I like your bum, I hope that you can blow me while I eat a plum. Your a whore and my dick is dry, so lets screw all night and then get high!”

See, this is true romance to a slag like her. She couldn’t resist! Tig, I hope you are not fretting too much, as I really do think this will blow over soon! They are just a couple of over eager sluts sluttin it up and will soon either grow bored or come down with chlamydia and go there seperate ways.

-Bitty

Dear Tig-

I am sorry for the news on the fuckery between Russell Brand and that tramp Katy Perry. I hope that Russell Brand tosses her aside like a loaded used condom when he is threw with her. I really pray he hurts her and makes her feel poorly about herself. Why? Because I loathe her…and because I love you. You know, because they have gone to Thailand together and have been “hanging out” together since the VMA’s,  she is already thinking that she has him on lock. HA! Russell Brand on lock!? Can you imagine? Katy Perry is nowhere near as cool as she thinks, and I am sure Russell just sees a way to wet his pecker. So, sleep well tonight sweet Tig, take comfort in knowing that he is just whoring about like usual.

-Bitty

So, like I told you a day or two after the VMA’s, Russell Brand and Katy Perry were caught having a little after party make-out moment.

Well, they’re taking it to the next level by roaming around London hand-in-hand and taking exotic vacations on far away beaches.

So, I hear it goes like this – Katy and Russell got friendly after the VMA’s, then Russell sends Katy a funny little poem to let her know he’s smitten, and Katy sends back a picture of her tits with the word “poem” drawn on them. SO FUCKIN CLASSY!

Anyway- since Russell is a pig nasty freak-a-zoid her titty ca-ca’s totally won his heart.

I’m not too worried about this being a long term thing. I mean, Russell is well know for needing, well – variety, and Katy can’t seem to stay away from her on/off boy toy Travis McCoy (Gym Class Hero’s front man), this relationship is bound to fizzle out fast.

One word of advice to Katy – bring plums! Cuz the man LOVES his fruit!

Tig

I do believe that one of the last things Russell said at the end of the MTV VMA’s was something like “And hey, Katy Perry didn’t win anything so I am the real winner tonight!”

Well, you know what they say – Be careful what you wish for!! Cuz Katy doesn’t just kiss girls, apparently she kisses award show hosts too!

Party goers have reported that Katy and Russell were snuggled up pretty close at the post VMA shin-dig and they were seen sharing “long” smooches and a lot of one-on-one time. I’d like to say that I don’t approve, but who am I kidding – these trollops were made for each other!

And since I know you’re wondering – this isn’t the first sexcapade of Russell’s that I’ve had to endure so I’m really ok…. really *sniff*

Tig

…I don’t give a shit about these awards you know. But I will watch it just like every other ridiculous tween, twitard, and twi mom out there because of our beautiful Bob Pattinson. Yes, I do care about Robert Pattinson’s appearance and the new “New Moon” trailer they are going to showcase. Yes I am that girl. Why? Not because of Twilight or New Moon really, but because of Pattinson!! I know I know. Listen, MTV has been advertising this show for weeks and they use our boy Bob Pattinson as a main selling ploy. They dont really talk about any other celebs, but oooh man, they make sure to really hit on the fact that Bob, Kristen and Taylor Lautner will be there presenting the new trailer exclusively. This makes me realize how lame I am. I love the Twilight series, don’t get me wrong, but I love our boy Bob more. I don’t care if he played Edward, I just love him. He could play Igor the Hunchback from Notre Dame and I would be down with him. Seriously it’s sad.

I really hope they like,  show up holding hands and kiss on stage or on the red carpet for the paparazzi. This would be the ultimate way to say “YES WE ARE TOGETHER!” Fingers crossed…

Another happy note about the VMAs. Tigs man Russell BRand is hosting! You know how I feel about Bob? Thats how she feels about Russell. Gross right? I know. Ha kidding Tig! At least she gets to see her hotness all night, I get quick clips here and there of that angel face Pattinson. Kristen Stewart is a lucky bish.

-Bitty

Tonight the VMA’s will air on MTV. Russell Brand will be hosting again (SWOON) and there will be plenty of star power on hand for the event.

And it sounds like some of those stars are just as excited as we are for the show tonight! Taking to Twitter - click on the names to link to their twitter account- to tell us about it, everyone from Katy Perry (warning us to lock up our men cuz her dress will be BANGIN – umm ew, but ok) to Pink reminiscing about VMA’s past.

Russell Brand has been nice enough to share a few clips of his rehersals (hilarious) and Muse  and Lady Gaga have been keeping us informed about their rehersal time too (and I can’t wait to see what bullshit “outfit” Lady Gaga pulls out for tonight).

Can’t wait for the show tonight – even if I will have the remote in hand, ready to flip channels when the Rap categories are announced!

I can’t wait to watch Russell make the nominees squirm, he is the king of innapropraite comments that fluster the famous.

I’m already getting the popcorn ready!

Tig

Well well well… here’s another reason for me to love him and for Bitty to think I’m foul for doing so.

18 year old model/hot comic groupie, Brooke Adams, is spilling the goods about what my boy Russell likes to do in his spare time.

It seems these two have had a couple of more than steamy encounters not only involving fruit during fellatio but buxom blondes in the bedroom! Hot damn Mr. Brand – we are impressed and slightly disgusted all at the same time!

Here is what the harlot (and I can call her that because only harlots go running their mouths to the media about their sexcapades with the semi famous) had to say about her time as “Bimbo of the moment”

“I got a cab to his house. Russell poked his head around the door, and when he opened it I realized he was totally naked. He took me through to the kitchen and offered me a drink.

“Then he asked me to perform a sex act on him. I’d had a few drinks and had always fancied him, so I did it. He was very complimentary, even though he was eating a plum at the time!”

She then of course goes on to spread lies about his tiny penis and his unlimited imagination…

“He declared we were not allowed to leave until he had been satisfied at least three times, so he just took it in turns with us. “He was very good in bed, not as big as I was expecting, but he still knew exactly what to do and had a lot of stamina.”

But this next quote is BY FAR my personal favorite…

“..after the other girl and I had showered, we came back and he was sitting there looking at pictures of himself online.”

HILARIOUS!!

Brooke, Deary – this is his way of saying that even after hours of nearly illegal sex with you bitches he STILL finds himself FAR more interesting than either of you! And for that – I love him again.. even if he does eat plums during the lips to peepee!

Tig