On a recent appearance on the Chelsea Lately show, Lamar Odom let it be known that he is ready for some youngins’.

Lamar already has two children from a past relationship, but he is ready to add to the brood. And since his ex isn’t so crazy about his marriage to Khloe (which she made perfectly clear by not allowing her children to be a part of the wedding), I guess he needs to start replacing the kids he probably won’t see very often.

We are already on the verge of a new Kardashian, do we really need another so soon? I think we should at least wait to see what kind of “krazy” Kourtney’s baby is going to be before considering another!!!

And as if that wasn’t disturbing enough, the couple is also in talks with producer, Ryan Seacrest, to star in their own newlywed themed reality show. Aren’t you excited?!

Yeah, me either!

Tig

During TLC’s special You Ask/Kate Answers, Kate let us into her world by answering all of the burning questions we were dying to ask.

Personally I think they screened the questions – because nobody asked her when the fuck she would be going away. Just a hunch.

Anyway- she did tell us that she is looking forward to a career in TV and movies, saying:

“Somewhere in here I’ve discovered that I’ve done enough years of TV that I feel like it’s a normal, natural, comfortable place to be. I’d love to be in a movie at some point,” she said. “I would love to be the voice of a cartoon character in a movie for my kids. I think that would be fun.”

Oh goodie! I’m so looking forward to hearing her ragged voice even MORE! *sigh*

What kind of part would she play?! The over bearing wife? The control freak mother? The sad lonely and desperate 30 something single mom?!

Umm – we’ve seen it already!! Her range has been exhausted! Please stop encouraging this woman!!!

She also let us know that “Aloneness is so alone,” and that she doesn’t see herself marrying again until she is 73. Wow, she was full of surprises huh?! File this under DUH!!

It’s too early in the morning for this crap!

Tig

We can all rest easy folks!

I know some of you were worried that Ashlee Simpson and her man-child, miniature husband, Pete Wentz were only going to have one funny named baby, but take a deep breath, cuz they want to have a whole bunch more!

 Wait – you were worried right?!

According to Pete, they want “a soccer team” of teeny tiny toddlers, it’s just about finding the time to create them. With Ashlee devoted to Melrose Place and Pete, well – he isn’t really doing anything, but he can’t exactly make babies alone. Of course, if he could, that would some things make a lot more sense.

 I dunno about you, but I’m ok with this. I think the world needs more destination/Disney movie character themed celebritots. To keep with the clever theme they already have going with Bronx Mowgli, my suggestions for Pete and Ashlee’s future children – Queens Bagheera, Harlem Baloo, Central Park Kah or Uptown Village Louie.

 They just roll off the tongue, don’t they?

 Hehe

 Tig

A couple of years ago I used to write for a nearly non-existent music magazine that’s barely worth mentioning. But I do because, to this story at least, it’s semi-relevant.

While working for this magazine I was given the opportunity to interview a few smaller names and a couple fairly well-knowns. Everyone I ever worked with was gracious and kind and more than willing to answer any stupid or insignificant question, even if I was with a magazine that none of them had heard of.

It’s called class, fan appreciation, whatever.. John Mayer doesn’t have it!

During an interview with NyMag he let his douche flag fly over and over and over again-

What do you think about health care? Would you take the public option?
“Have you ever heard me play guitar? I’m really fucking good. You know what I’m bad at? Answering questions about public health care. This is not in my wheelhouse. Do you have any questions about music? I almost got a mad need to lighten up. You need to lighten up, because the questions you asked me were all trouble-making questions. If someone gave me the Nobel Peace Prize, and I didn’t deserve it, I would just shut my mouth and enjoy the hell out of it. What’s he going to do, send it back? It’s like I’m getting a wrongful bulge in my pants and everyone’s thinking I’ve got a nine-inch cock. I’m not going to argue with them, I’m going to let them think I have a nine-inch cock.”

What do you think about guys with seventies mustaches?
“I don’t give a fuck about who wears their face what way. If I could grow a beard, I’d have some nutty things going on on my face.”

You can’t grow a beard?
“It’s a pituitary thing. I know you’re not that much of a moron.”

These are questions my editor wanted me to ask. I’m trying to build my journalistic career here.
“You’re not building a journalistic career. You’re making yourself look like a moron and you’re not a moron. Who’s your editor?”

Jada.
“Jada is making you sound like a moron in front of people.”

See what I mean?! What a scumbag right?!

And I know that’s some of you are going to be like “Oh, he’s just kidding, he’s so funny.. You just don’t know him!”

But you’re wrong – he’s a fuckstick. Full on, classless creep-a-zoid supreme. 

He ended the interview with this jem-

Is there hope behind the heartbreak?
“The melody is the hope. The lyrics are the heartbreak, the melody is the hope. If you have the lyrics being the heartbreak and the music as the heartbreak, your editor made you ask stupid fucking questions! You’re standing in front of me acting as if these questions are fair, but now we’re talking about something real. So there was stuff I wanted to put on the record that just didn’t fit the concept. So the next record will have that concept.”

What concept?
“More political things, worldly things.”

Such as?
“Nothing rhymed with public option.”

You don’t always have to rhyme, though.
“I’m going to forcefully sodomize your editor.”

If I didn’t hate him before – I hate him now.

*sigh*

Tig

According to Kourtney and Scott the couple is expecting a boy – and we can all be thankful!

I don’t know about you, but I really wasn’t looking forward to the mini “My First” stripper pole in the nursery and the 1^st birthday party at the Playboy Mansion.

Oh c’mon – you KNOW the Kardashi-ho’s would have hopped right on the baby-tramp bandwagon. Dressing her newborn baby girl in a tube top and a pair of super skinny’s on top of 4 inch heels. Like I said, thank GOD she’s having a boy!

I think the worst we can expect for their son is a Mohawk paired with pink polo’s like his uber odd papa wears all the damn time. Ok, that’s still pretty damn offensive!

 Tig

Please, people-nothing is shocking here!! Apparently Britney Spears ex husband trashed his rental in Cali according to Dlisted.com via TMZ where you can see the pictures of the damage.

So the landlords are wanting $100,000 dollars for the damages and for back rent. Thats right folks, he didnt pay rent for 6 months! Can you believe that? Geez!! Here is the list of damages.

Gutters full of cigarette butts and empty beer bottles
A broken beer dispenser on the barbecue island
Permanent spit marks on exterior paint
Broken light covers
Bent light posts
Broken tiles
Dead trees and plants due to failure to water
Drawings all over the walls
A room that was turned into a studio (without the owners’ permission)
Broken dishwasher … with broken baskets
Dismantled smoke detectors
Front driveway oil-leak damage
Master bathroom windows tinted (without owners’ permission)

You know what I love about this story? The shameless-ness of the landlords! Motherfuckers go to TMZ and air this shit?! I dont know if I think that is hilarious or pathetic. I can’t decide. It’s hard for me because my last landlords were complete and total snakes!! And $100,000 bucks!? Damn- thats a chunk of change for some fuckin dismantled smoke detectors. OK I know, lots more damage than that. Trust me, I am not defending the bottom feeder Federline, I just think this whole thing is rotton! K-Fed, clean shit up and pay rent you bum!! Landlords, way to be…um…I dunno…!! Ugh!

-Bitty

Infamous non-drinker, Tila Tequila, took to Twitter to release a little racial tension.

Saying -

“Please get and EDUCATION. Please stop using the “RACE” card in every situation &stop talking shit when ppl like me pay for your food! – I work HARD just so I can give my money TO YOU To feed ur hungry broke asses talkin shit!”

Wow, she then decided to blame these shit talking people for her impending suicide -

“I am going to kill myself cuz I do not want to live in a world where it’s filled with ignorance”

So far, I haven’t heard any death news flying around – so I am going to guess she’s bluffing. And just where does Tila Tequila get off calling anyone ignorant or telling them to get “EDUCATED”?! Cuz damn – I’m thinking it’s pretty stupid to let your racist side fly in a public forum. But that’s just me.

File this under just another fantastic Twitter Tyrade.. *sigh*

Tig

Bitch looks like a man. But thats not what this is about. Nooope! It’s about me discovering why this skank is famous. Boy am I glad I do NOT watch her bullshit reality show “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” The only thing I knew about this busted piece was that she wears an awful wig. Oh dear Bitty, there is so much more! This bitch dates a guy called “Big Papa” who is…MARRIED!!!

Ok, so I know most of you out there are saying “DUH BITTY!! Where have you been!?” but this is news to me! I have refused to watch this bullshit show! I hear all about the walking calamity Kim non stop but never fully understood her appeal. Now I know what the wench is all about and I still don’t get the appeal!! But it does infuriate me. WHAT A BITCH! In the latest issue of Life & Style, the slut talks about how she doesn’t get child support for her children from a previous relationship, and that she was a waitress at a local strip club, NOT a stripper. She talks about how she worked sooo hard, but now she can afford big houses and designer clothes…and why?? Because of her Big Papa boyfriend! THE MARRIED MAN! Here is the stupid slut’s comments..

“I’m honest about the fact that I am dating a married man (Big Poppa). If I’d been a stripper, why wouldn’t I tell you? Before The Real Housewives came along, I worked as a nurse, I also waited tables. I worked two full-time jobs. But when I got with Poppa, I didn’t have to work anymore,”

Another tidbit in regards to a disgusting tale she tried to weave about a very serious illness that people deal with everyday…she said she started wearing wigs because a “mystery illness” caused her hair to fall out. Hmm what illness could that be?! Well her costars called the lying attention whore out and now Kim is claiming she was misunderstood. Some people!!!

“It was a cancer scare,” she explains, adding that a thyroid condition contributed to the problem.

Um…a SCARE doesn’t make your hair fall out…and I have family members with thyroid problems…they still have hair! WTF dude! You wear a wig, thats it ok?? Do you have to come up with some tragic tale about it?? Yes, you are quite pathetic indeed…more so then Vanilla Aniston! You must be so proud of yourself Kim, because your a worthless pile of shit. Congrats! Oh and I do not know if your aware of this, but you are actually quite ugly. That broke wig aint helping shit. In fact, the only way it will help is if you wear it on your face.

Have you ever thought about your boyfriends poor wife? Of course not! You don’t deserve fame OR fortune. I hope you get burned on the face. Dang, this chick makes Bitty mad.

-Bitty

And she will stay that way until the prenup that Lamar is demanding is worked out.

Even though OK Magazine is on newstands with tons of pretty (and far too expensive) pictures of the event – it was all for show.

Why the rush to the alter guys?? If you still didn’t have the legalities in order why did you need to hurry down the isle? Totally odd.

The giant and the basketballer had only been dating for about 15 minutes before they wed. And since TMZ has released audio of the behind the scenes direction from E! producers, it’s becoming more and more obvious that this is a marriage made in money making heaven.

Right, and I’m just as SHOCKED as the rest of you.

The couple said they plan to REALLY tie the knot after the prenup is inked in sharpie and signed in triplicate.

*sigh*

Tig

Since the ratings for Jon & Kate + 8 have continued to slip after the fairy tale family became a little too real, TLC has decided to drop Jon and change the show to just Kate + 8. Hoping to snag the single mother demographic with the trials and tribulations of a single millionairess trying to raise 8 kids with 6 nannies, 3 house keepers and a book tour. Yeah, cuz most single moms will totally be able to relate to that shit.

Um, pssssst – TLC, nobody cares anymore guys! I mean, not about the kids anyway. All we want is the Jon/Kate drama!! Can’t you just turn the show into Jon Hates Kate and leave the kids out of it?! You could show Kate freaking out at Jon for sneaking around with a bunch of fame hungry hookers instead of raising his kids.  And then Jon could spray paint “Mega Nag” on her Sprinter in the middle of the night.

Now that’s quality television!

Of course, about 13 seconds after TLC made the show announcement, Jon called his lawyer and put a stop to that whole silly divorce thing. He has officially requested a 90 day delay from the courts. And then he released this statement-

“Even though we were heading for a divorce, it appeared that Kate had been suffering from this divorce as much as I had. That’s why I asked my attorney to put the brakes on this divorce so I could try to regain control over the future of our family. So Kate and I could join on a cooperative course that would benefit our family — not destroy it. I regret my conduct since Kate and I separated [on June 22]. I used poor judgment in publicly socializing with other women so soon.”

Hahahahaha – in other words – “My bank account is empty and the Ed Hardy deal is falling apart, so ummmm, I wanna be a dad again!” What a piece!! And when was Jon suffering?! Was it during the parties in Vegas or when he moved his 20-something girlfriend in?? Seriously… I like my idea better - Keep hating each other, it’s WAY more fun!

*sigh*

Tig